“If I had been raised by loving parents, I wouldn’t be this dysfunctional.”
“If I had a beach house, a charming and supportive husband, two kids, and a cute chihuahua, I would be truly happy.”
“If I were rich and famous, I would probably be very content.”
We have all brooded over how amazing life would be if we had something someone else has. It often feels like our unhappiness is because God has been gracious to others but not to us. And we can all blame it on that silent killer named Comparison.
Two emotions come into play when we compare our lives with others. Pride arises when we compare ourselves to those who have less than we do. Conversely, envy creeps in when we compare ourselves to those we believe have more or are more talented than we are.
Comparison is a Dream Killer
Comparison often leads to feelings of unworthiness, making you believe you do not matter. If left unchecked, it can result in unnecessary worry, depression, suicidal thoughts, or even theft as you struggle to keep up with your neighbors. Inwardly, comparison is an identity thief, robbing you of yourself as you strive to become someone else. It dims your inner light as you envy others whom you assume shine brighter than you.
In a world where we are constantly bombarded with information, our lives seem boring, dull, and unproductive, while those we watch on social media live their best lives. Before the age of technology, it was nearly impossible to know what your cousin on the other side of the planet was doing. Now, you know what they had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while also seeing pictures of their well-manicured lawn, gorgeous spouse, and healthy children.
A century ago, the biggest threat to a child’s dreams was incurable childhood diseases, but medical breakthroughs have made that a thing of the past. Today, the greatest threat to your dreams is comparison. Many people abandon their authentic selves and dreams to embrace an identity that is not their own. If you are not doing what is trending, you may feel susceptible to a common disease called FOMO—the fear of missing out. FOMO is a significant cause of damaged self-esteem and confidence, especially in a world of social media addiction.
However, God does not want you to live this way.
God Warns Against Comparison
In 2 Corinthians 10:12, He warns that those who compare themselves with others are not wise. God created you to be you, not somebody else. He desires to help you become the best version of yourself, not a copy of someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you. Life is about growth, and you should seek to improve yourself daily. It is wise to reflect on your past self and acknowledge areas of growth while celebrating how far you have come.
God created you uniquely. Ephesians 2:10 states that you are God’s masterpiece. Some translations, like The Passion Translation, use the word “poetry” instead of “masterpiece.” Imagine that—you are God’s poem! I love poems for their uniqueness and depth; that is exactly how God sees you: as a unique creation. Even our fingerprints are unique, reflecting God’s intentional design. This does not mean you cannot admire positive traits in others, but you cannot be them.
David embraces this truth in Psalm 139:13, recognizing how God intricately formed him in his mother’s womb. In verse 14, he marvels that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. He is in awe of how thoughtful God was in designing him. Scriptures like these affirm that God created you to be YOU. You may not like your nose, but you have other wonderful qualities that make you unique.
In Hebrews 12:1, we are told to run our own race with perseverance. We are not called to run someone else’s race but to follow the path God has designed for us. There is something only you can do.
Paul embraced who God created him to be—the ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses alike. In 1 Corinthians 15:10, he states, “But by the grace of God, I am what I am.” This does not mean he did not seek improvement. On the contrary, in 1 Corinthians 9:27, he says that he disciplines his body to keep it under control so that, after preaching to others, he himself will not be disqualified. He fully depended on God’s grace to overcome his weaknesses.
The late Myles Munroe once said:
“The wealthiest place in the world is not the gold mines of South America or the oil fields of Iraq or Iran. It is not the diamond mines of South Africa or the banks of the world. The wealthiest place on the planet is just down the road—it is the cemetery. There lie buried companies that were never started, inventions that were never made, bestselling books that were never written, and masterpieces that were never painted. In the cemetery is buried the greatest treasure of untapped potential.”
Many of those buried there likely abandoned their dreams to chase a false identity.
One of the greatest tragedies in life is reaching the end only to encounter the version of yourself that God created you to be—when it is too late.
Don’t allow comparison to rob you of yourself and the world of the incredible gifts and talents within you. Embrace who God created you to be and run the unique race He has marked out for you.
I have more to say about comparison, but I’ve dedicated an entire chapter to this topic in my book, It’s Not My Thing.